The first day of school

Boyd was very anxious in the week leading up to the first day of school.  The day before he told me he couldn't do it.  After explaining to him that he had to go to school.  No other option, no choice, that's the law, you do what you gotta do, we made a plan that grandpa would watch Reilly and I would go with him for a while and get him settled in and then come home.  I went with him and he just built himself into a panic every time he thought I would leave.  I finally just took him down to the school counselors office for help.  We have been working on getting him on an IEP since the end of last year.  After talking to him and him staying in a state of panic, we got an appointment with the district psychologist to talk about what we can do to get his IEP set in a hurry.  I ended up just having to leave him with a few people holding on to him.  I left with him having a panic attack.  I couldn't take him home it would have started a precedent, right?  I question that decision every day.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to walk away from your son struggling against a few people yelling "mommy don't go I need you, I hate you!" over and over again?  My heart broke into a million pieces.  They have started his battery of testing buy we are still waiting a month later.... a long month later.